Hurdle.....

My daily breakfast. 

Yogurt, raspberries,maple sirup, Special K honey&oats ♥

 So what is going on right now????
Well, towards the end of the week I kind of lost my mojo.   :(
Had used the treadmill for a couple of days (did well with interval program on 1) and worked out after with weights and some other exercises and I guess I overdid it..... I'm not 20 anymore and since I'm not what you call fit I have a tendency to maybe do too much. My lower back is already a bit of an issue to star with do to the lack of core strength and I was in pain for days. So I cut out the workouts to get back to normal, but with it I kinda lost interest all together.......... frustrated.....
I still watch my normal meals, but snacking gone up.
On top of it my scale was acting up. Each time I stepped on it I got a different number .
 Either 1 or 2 lbs up or down.....that doesn't work for me.So out she went!!
I got a new scale yesterday that works great.  Hubby thinks I should not weigh myself at all, but I'm not sure that's an option.... 
Anyway I try to take it one day at the time really. I wasn't too excited about it all anyway and maybe that's why I struggle already. I just feel I can't wait for my head to get into it anymore. It might never happen. I hope that while I do it I get more motivated.  
Talking about the head....I sometimes wonder if I have ADD . My brain is all over the place most of the time and even with changing my eating habits I have the same issue. I'm thinking about it, making sure I stay on track, then I go blank and do the opposite .
Of course when I snap out of it I get frustrated and feel like a looser.
Trying to soldier on anyway. I have to get a grip of things.
For myself!!

Another day !

I'm still at it. Yes I am !

Not too excited yet, but I hope I will be once I see some change. I have been at this so often that it has lost pretty much all his glitter.

Knowing that I should be patient (not my strength ) and take it slow will be a struggle and challenge but I need to do this and do it    NOW!!

So I started tracking again. I have the online version of WW still from when I went to meetings a while back. Don't like the meetings as they don't tell me anything I don't know yet and I don't agree with 

replacing crap food with lower cal crap food.I'm more interested in eating better and less. It's not like I don't know what foods to eat. My problem is that I eat too much junk beside that.

 I want healthy and less processed, no sweetener but taste.

Since I can use whatever food I like I just keep track of what I eat/drink and use their tracker.

Used the treadmill again too. 30 min and some exercises . 

Tomorrow is another day!  :)

First steps....

Every journey starts with first steps, right?
Today I took my first steps by setting out on my treadmill. I started out with one of the programs on it
, which was way too hard as I found out after 10 minutes.
After a break to catch my breath and some tears,I went back on. This time on the lowest program and
did another 30 minutes.
That's all I managed for this day. Tomorrow I will start to track my food intake again .
Even though I don't really like the Weight Watchers program itself I like the tracker.
Now that I too call myself a proud owner of a smart phone, I can use WW app where ever I am.
I think that will come in handy for sure.

So much for today.....
I will go now and prep my lunch for tomorrow
The first step is done!

A start ....

It has taking me a long time to decide if I wanted to start a blog like this.

Part of me doesn't want to get public with my struggle with weight and fitness, but

the voice inside of me that calls for change is getting louder and so after thinking about this for 

a while I think it could be a good thing to write things down here.

Kind of for my own accountability I guess.

So here's the deal....

I have had weight issues pretty much from my mid teenage years on.

Not sure when it started and why, just that I'm dealing with it already for a LONG time.

The scale has been up and down, more up then down really, and when I had it going down for a while I would start cheating myself and slowly start creeping up again over time.

Well, the time has come to make a change, a proper, permanent change maybe this time?

I'm so tired of extra weight and having no fitness level to speak off and not to mention the low self esteem that comes with this. That has already taken up permanent residence in my brain and I wish I could just evict it for good.

I have never done any sport really, just a bit of volleyball in school that's it.

By now going up 3 flights  of stairs leaves me totally winded and I sound like I have an 

asthma attack . 

Over the years I had times where I went for daily walks and even did some aqua fit

 for a while, but nothing permanent.

I don't want to become a sport or fitness nut, just be able to do some 

outdoorsy activities with my sweet husband. 

As a start I need to shed some weight, well actually a lot of weight!

 About 85 lb/38kg!

I know it will take time, probably a long time and since I have almost given up hope that I will 

get to my goal at some point, I think it might be a struggle.

Yet if I don't do it now, when will I try???

So let's begin and wish me that I can do it, have the strength to keep going when I get weak.

Here's to trying..............